I knew it was coming, as I was more or less warned to expect bad things before I left work Monday night. Fortunately for my sanity, I was also told Monday night that I personally didn't have to worry. This came as little comfort, though, as around 10am today they started calling people into conference rooms and letting them know that their services would no longer be required.

Now.. some of you will see this and say.. "So what? 31 people doesn't seem so bad". Well.. it is bad. As the article said, they'd hired around 50 new people last year.. bringing the total employed by the company to a little under 200. When you let go 31 people out of a base of less then 200, well, it hits a lot harder. Especially when some of those people are in the same department that you were in only a short time ago. I've been sitting here at my desk all day, doing my QA thing, but kind of stunned in the back of my mind. Granted.. it's not like the company is going under. They didn't let these people go becuase they're in the hole or anything, they let them go because they didn't make as much last year as they thought they would. So, the company will definitely still be here tomorrow.. but it does start to bring a shadow of doubt on everything. Living where I do, my choice in employers is pretty damn small.. if something dire were to happen, there aren't many places left to flee to that I haven't tried already.

Yes, I still have my job. But the worry is there, the fear is there, and the lingering doubts in the back of my mind still won't keep themselves quiet.

I'm also fairly certain I'm not going to be seeing any kind of raise anytime soon, even though I'm doing easily five times the amount of work I was as a CS at the same pay rate. Saving the company money is great, ensuring employment is great, but work to pay ratio is also kind of important.